When Skies are Gray
by frannyandfranny
Summary: Duo is afraid of two things from his past, Heero and fire. What happens when he's faced with both. Eventual 1x2. Until then beware of major Duo angst.
1. I

**When Skies are Gray**

PG-13

Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot of this story

A/N This is my first GW. But I'm not stranger to this stuff.This will be Heero/Duo in later chapters. That's yaoi. So you're warned.

_I can't believe all that I have  
foreseen is finally happening.  
I cannot for a single second stand the way I feel.  
I always knew. I always saw it coming.  
Enveloped now, encased by my worst fear.  
I've never felt the nausea of longing to feel nothing,  
I never wanted to cease to  
exist, just disappear_

Duo isn't even my real name. If you asked me what my real name was, I couldn't tell you. It would seem kind of funny to someone else

I guess. I guess a lot of things about my life might come off as funny to other people. I can't say I feel the same way.

I couldn't tell you who my parents were. I can't tell you where I was born. I can't tell you a fucking thing. All the things that people

_should have_I lack.

I sort of guess that's why people don't like me.

I mean, they couldn't possibly like me. Yeah I can be a real "laugh riot" when I want to be. I make people laugh. But that doesn't mean

people like me. That doesn't make me "likable."

I fought in the war, yeah I know, I'm too young to have fought in any war. That was two years ago now though. All my friends---well

co-pilots, they've moved on to bigger and better things.

Me? I live a life of _luxury_ in my very own three room apartment on L2.

Friends? Yeah I guess Hilde counts. We get drunk together. I guess that makes us friends.

I work in a junk yard. I guess that's a real laugh to everyone. Duo Maxwell, street-rat working in a junk yard. Is there any more fitting

place for me to work?

_I couldn't imagine._

You wouldn't believe how many times I've gotten phone calls from them. My co-pilots that is.

You wouldn't believe me if I told you have many times I've ignored them.

I don't need fancy-ass Quatre's money to help me out, even if it is "just for now." I know what his money is in the end; pity.

I don't need to see him and Trowa.

I don't want to see them with eachother.

Looking at each other in _that_ way.

Touching eachother in a way that they think is discreet.

And Wufei? Hasn't even tried to contact me. No surprise there. It wasn't like the guy hid that he hated my very essence.

That leaves Heero.

I'd heard rumors that he's "changed" that I "wouldn't believe the difference."

Why the hell should I care?

Heero never looked at _me_.

Heero never listened to _me_.

Heero never touched _me_.

Anyway, I took off for the next week. Une wanted to go over a few things with me for Preventers. I'm not a member of that shit. But I

help out. And when I say that I help out, I mean that that damned woman leaves me so many messages requesting my presence that I

ignore her until I can't take the annoyance anymore and give in.

Hopefully it'll be a real in and out job this time. I don't feel like putting up with anyone's bull.

Duo Maxwell dishes out bullshit, he doesn't like receiving it.


	2. II

A/N This won't take long.

Just wanted to say that this story is set after the series ends, before Endless Waltz. But it's a bit AU because in my story Endless Waltz doesn't occur, or at least hasn't occurred yet. Kay, hope no one flips about that.

Also, this is going to be a pretty long story. It's received over 200 hits already; it's on 7 alerts, yet I've only gotten 5 reviews. I'll keep writing regardless of the reviews and everything, but I definitely will say reviews are very very encouraging. Especially in terms of how fast my chapters come out.

When Skies are Gray

_I used to long for time alone_

_I used to long for a place of my own_

_and I'm losing faith in everything_

_I'm lost, so lost, i'm lost at sea, you'll see_

Lady Une looked the same as always, calculating eyes, long brunette hair, and a pressed navy suit that clung to her slim form.

"Duo, you look like shit," she said with a smirk.

"Oh Lady Une, you flatter me." I wasn't going to deny it. My black shirt was riddled with wrinkles, my hair was knotted in places, and I

knew damn well there were dull purple circles tracing the bottoms of my eyes.

"This way, I have some blueprints I'd like you to look at," she said leading the way down the too tight corridor.

"Blueprints?" This was intriguing; usually it was just boring meetings or whatnot.

"You'll see," she said over here shoulder. The complex that was usually bustling with workers seemed somewhat abandoned.

"No one else is here?" I asked quickly trying to keep my tone casual.

"You mean Heero?" she said grinning.

"I mean any Gundam pilots," I glared at the back of her head. Stupid woman and her stupid know-it-all tone of voice.

"Just you Duo." I felt my body visibly slump with relief.

"I hope I'll see quickly, I was hoping that this wouldn't take long," I say hastily. I didn't want to make a damn day of this

Preventersshit.

"The junkyard busy these days?"

Bitch.

"Just make it quick," I reply firmly. How was she to know I didn't have plans. I could have a girlfriend, or a cat that needed to be fed.

But I didn't a girlfriend.

And I didn't have a cat.

Maybe I should look into the whole cat thing for next time I need an excuse not to stay here too long.

I followed the 20-something woman down the end of the corridor to an isolated looking room. She motioned for me to go in first and I

did without giving it a second thought.

I wanted to leave as soon as I walked into the room. There were no blueprints in sight. Only a pair of two very penetrating blue eyes.

"Whoa! What's going on here," I felt myself backing out of the room, only to be forced back in by Lady Une's steel grip.

"Duo, please, sit down," she was talking in a very soft condescending tone, as if I were a child.

"You lied to me, Une. Now I want to know right fucking now what is going on!" I wasn't sitting down, I wasn't talking softly either.

"Duo, keep your voice down!" her whispers were hasty this time.

"Keep my voice down. Oh okay! You try being lied to, and then forced into a room with…" okay I was at a loss here, "with people

you didn't know were going to be there!" Oh good recovery Duo, you sound real tuff.

"You haven't changed," his voice was smooth and monotone. Just what I'd expect. This was exactly why I didn't want to be here.

"Don't you fucking say another word to me Yuy," I narrowed my eyes in his direction before turning back to Une.

"Let me leave. NOW!" I wasn't asking I was demanding. Not only had I been tricked and lied to. I was just insulted by _him_.

" Just give us 5 minutes of your time Duo. Just listen. Please," said Une. I would have walked out if it hadn't been for the slightly

desperate tone in her voice.

I slumped into a chair, as far away from him as possible. I know it was childish but it's not like maturity is a trait I was particularly

known to ooze of. I figure, they'd say their bit, and I'm walk out. What was five minutes of my time anyway? Wasn't like I had big

plans. I didn't have a damn plan for my life. Not for today, not for the immediate future, not for any point in my future. I wish I had that

cat. I could be complaining right now that it was going to starve without me.

"Okay what is it?" I harshly spit.

"Let me get right to the point. There is a suspected, almost confirmed group known as the Order of Yun Zhonghe. This secret society

collects its members young, and its recruiting grounds are an exclusive private prep school.

It is The Preventer's belief that this society is an underground network of terrorist groups that plan to disrupt the Christmas ceremony

this year. However, it is unconfirmed exactly what the plans are. We need people on the inside, to first attend the school, join the

society, and find out the plans."

"So?" I asked nonchalantly.

"So, you're 17. You're the perfect age to infiltrate this organization. You are Heero will enroll in the school. You will join the Order of

Yun Zhonghe and retrieve information. You will do this over the course of a school year."

"No," I didn't have to even think about this one.

"No?"

"Yep, so show me the way out." I was standing now on my way to the exit.

"Duo," I flinched he had said my name, "You have to understand, this could ruin everything we'd worked for."

"Why me?" I asked refusing to meet his gaze.

"There is no one else. We have to take this mission," his voice was firm but I was surprised to hear emotion bubbling within his words.

"Get Quartre, or Wufei, send Trowa. Or better yet, do it yourself. You're the perfect soldier. Here's the mission. Do it yourself. I'd

only get in your way," I couldn't hide the bitterness from my words.

"Duo, please. We cannot allow this to happen. And more importantly, I can't do this alone. There is a chance that I won't make it into

the society. We need someone…"

"Someone…what! You need someone who will attract a bad crowd? Is that it Yuy!"

"NO!" He was visibly upset now.

"We need someone who will be popular," said Lady Une smoothly.

"Popular?" I asked slowly.

"You attract friends Duo. I don't. I need you," said Heero bowing his head, letting his messy locks fall around his face.

"Oh." I managed taken aback.

"So you'll do it?" He said hopefully.

"Okay, tell me the details." I said while slumping back into my seat. And for some strange reason Yuy issued me a smile.


	3. III

AN: The first chapter was 500 words, the second 1000, the third 2000. I know, I don't like reading short chapters either. I'm working on lengthening them each time though. But I also want to post them in a timely fashion as well.

Also, I'm aware that there is alot of build up, but it'll be worth it. I wish I could skip all this and get right into the drama and action, but stick with me, k?

I'm sorry the last two chapters were formatted weird, I dunno what happened .

Anyway, without further ado, here's the next chapter. And please remember to review. I need to know if people are hearting this or not. Kthx darlings.

**When Skies are Gray**

****

_You are new and near now to someone you used to love  
when you were young; when all was gold and you two touched  
and felt the flutter underneath your skin. You stood in glowing rooms,  
the light dripping from both of you.  
and nothing since has felt as radiant or real.  
and there is nothing more i want than just one night  
that's free of doubt and sadness  
one night that i can really feel._

_  
_"Touch" Bright Eyes

_Heero's POV_

One could call the silence in the transit ship to Earth awkward. To be honest, I don't a better word you possibly could use to describe the stretching silence.

I wasn't used to this "new" Duo, as Lady Une had coined it.

During the war Duo would seemingly pull conversations out of thin air. There was never silence. It was Duo who I had relied on to keep my mind off of things. To keep me sane.

I guess it's like when you get in the car and immediately reach for the knob to flip on the radio. It doesn't matter if there is a commercial on, or even some song you hate and would never listen to otherwise. Because the point is that you don't feel so lonely knowing that voices, however recorded, are filling your car. You're not alone anymore. Or at least that's the impression you get.

But there was no radio to flip on in this shuttle. Not that I had expected there would be.

I guess back during the war Duo was my "radio."

It didn't matter that I would hardly talk back to him. He was cheerful, he always carried the conversation, and he always kept Quatre happy even in the worst of situations.

I had just assumed that was the way Duo was, the way he had always been.

Not I can't help but wonder if maybe that was just his way of coping back then. I mean, we all had our methods.

Quatre coped through Trowa

Trowa coped likewise, through Quatre.

Wufei coped by withdrawing into himself and seeing revenge and "justice" as his only goal.

It isn't hard to say what my coping strategy was. I was silent; I was what I had been made into. The perfect soldier. I didn't feel, I didn't need to. I didn't care about life, not about my own, not about those whose lives I was taking, not about anyones. Well, I was almost the perfect soldier. There was someone's live I particularly cared about.

But the Duo sitting next to me know isn't my friend from the war. No, the Duo sitting next to me now is the pilot of 02 Gundam, morbid and introverted. I can't help but wonder if this is the way Duo really was before all the war began. Something told me that that wasn't the case. Something told me that introverted was an attribute that Duo was never meant to possess.

I guess that's how I am now now. I was never meant to feel emotion, it was an attribute I was never meant to possess---yet I do now.

I was never supposed to have friends, but Quatre, Trowa, and Wufei are my friends.

After the war I spent most of my time living with Quatra and Trowa. Wufei would frequently visit. In those two years my friends showed me that I wasn't the robot I had been trained to be. I know that now. I can't say I'm perfect. I can't say that I'm a normal guy. I'm not. But I try.

I have to force myself sometimes to talk, to include myself. But it feels awkward and forced. Everything I do is always so forced.

I glance over at Duo next to me. His jaw is stiff and his eyes are set straight ahead. Nothing Duo ever did was forced. Even now, even in his silence he seems so in control of what he does.

But I have to remind myself, this isn't the same Duo I once knew. I wish that I could show him that I'm not the same Heero. But judging from those glares I receive from his when he manages to brave a glance in my direction, that'll have to wait.

"We're almost there," I heard my strangled voice say against my will. I needed to break this silence. Quatre never allowed silence when we were all together.

"Yeah, I pretty much figured seeing as we're on Earth. You might have thought I was a dumb-fuck back in the day, Yuy, but since then I've studied up on it, and I've learned how to read signs. And that giant sign that says "Brooklake Springs Academy, 5 miles", that was a dead giveaway."

"Oh, okay," I muster. I make a mental note to never seemingly explain anything to him again.

As if the silence couldn't get more unbearable. The air was filled with electric now.

Just when I thought I couldn't bear being in this shuttle any longer I felt it come to an abrupt stop.

"We're here boys," calls the female voice from upfront.

Noin. Always a faithful servant of Preventers.

"I'll just make sure your bags are brought in after you!" said the purple haired woman.

"Okay," I manage before squeezing out a "thank you."

Duo was following me into the building now, taking his damn time walking up the what seemed like million steps. The building was huge, all brick, and appeared to be very old.

"Can I help you?" A smiling grandmother type of woman sat behind a counter and took down our information as Noin got our registration sorted out. Apparently they had been expecting us.

We were lead to a different building full of small apartment-like complexes which I supposed passed as dorms. Duo followed behind looking very indifferent to the entire situation.

"You'll be staying here," Noin explained while motioning us inside.

The dorm average in size, but living in Quatre's mansion for two years tends to change your perception of what is considered large.

One living room area complete with a TV, sofa, and small table, a makeshift kitchen area, and one bedroom made up the accommodations.

"Well I'll leave you two to get settled," said Noin throwing me a sympathetic smile.

"Before I go however, Lady Une wanted me to pass along a bit more information to you. Just so you know, classes begin tomorrow. Don't let yourselves stand out. I'm sure you know the procedure. Contact Preventers daily with updates on your situation. Other than that, everything you need to know is in this portfolio," she said passing me a manila envelope.

"Good luck boys," she said, eyeing us both, before exiting our dorm.

Duo had already managed to make himself comfortable on our sofa and was flipping through various channels on the TV. His tight black tee clung to his form and I couldn't help but become distracted for the slightest second. Perfect solider indeed.

"What do you want?" he asked haughtily without taking his eyes off the screen.

"What?" I replied taken aback. I felt a blush creep its way up my cheeks against my will. My body always found clever ways to betray me. I was lucky Duo refused to look at me these days, otherwise my giveaways would certainly be noticed.

"You're over there staring at me. You obviously want something," suddenly angry violet eyes turned their gaze to me for the first time today. This only managed to throw me off guard even more.

"I um, I wanted to go over this information together before tomorrow," I manage pointing a the envelope that Noin had passed onto me.

"Of course, what the hell else would _you_ have to say to _me_?" He snapped, turning his attention back to the TV.

I couldn't understand why he was acting this defensive and angrily toward me. I certainly wasn't going to confront him about it. I didn't want him to blow up on me before the mission had even begun and storm out.

I took a seat next to him and opened the envelope Noin had given me. I scanned over the information while he watched some damn television show. His foot kept taping against the table leg. That simple act was unnerving to say the least.

"Well?" he asked accusingly.

"We're to be on the look out for a particular boy. His name is Konstance Lingg. He is supposedly the head of the chapter of the society here. If we manage to befriend him, there's a very good chance we'll be initiated," I said slowly.

"Hm." His attention remained focused on the TV.

I left the dorm shortly afterwards, not wanting to partake in the silence anymore. I walked around the large campus, making mental notes of where my classes would be tomorrow.

I brought back some burgers from a small restaurant I had found on campus. I remembered that burgers and fries had been Duo's favorite food. But when I had gotten back he refused to take any of the food, citing that he had already eaten.

I am almost certain that he hadn't left the apartment for one minute to get food however, I fact I was almost certain he hadn't moved from his seat on the sofa since we had arrived.

We spent the rest of the night unpacking and getting settled. There were bunk beds to save space. By the time I had gotten into the room Duo had already claimed the top. Not that I had my heart set on it or anything.

I took a quick shower for the evening and sat at my desk in the room researching the history of the school as well as information on the society.

Duo hadn't come to bed yet, and I was wondering if he was still watching that TV. It was already well past midnight and our first class began tomorrow at eight.

I padded into the kitchen under the pretense of making myself a snack and found that I didn't need a cover story. He was already asleep.

His body was stretched out on the small sofa, his legs hanging precariously over the edge, and his arms huddled under his head. Some of his hair had slipped free of its braid and hung around the softened features of his face.

This was the first time today that I had truly seen a side of Duo that I remembered from before. He was always so beautiful when he slept, and that hadn't changed.

Part of me wanted to wake him, I knew that sleeping on the sofa would lead to pain in the morning, but I knew that if I woke him he'd only revert back to his new self. I didn't think I could put myself through any more defensive rebuttals for the night.

I decided on an alternative. I slipped past him on the sofa and found the remote, wedged under the sofa. I made my way back to the doorway of our room turned down the lights so it wouldn't hurt his eyes when he entered. I pressed the volume button, until the TV was subsequently loud. I heard movement in coming from his direction and jumped back into my chair at my desk and stared at my laptop.

He walked befuddled into the room, managed to somehow glare at me through his sleepy haze, and then passed out on his bunk.

Mission accomplished.

I smiled a bit, in spite of myself, and then took my leave from the desk, stripped my pants and shirt, and made my way over to my own bed. I did have to wake up in four hours after all.

I heard Duo's soft breathing from above me, and to his rhythmic breaths I managed to be lulled into sleep.


End file.
